Category Archives: Faith

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God is love


God is love.

God is good.

Your experience might currently be contrary to these statements. I can’t know what is happening in your life, but I know that these two statements are true even when I don’t understand. They aren’t just true because they are in the bible. They aren’t just true because I, and perhaps you, have experienced the truth of them.

I have and yet I didn’t think I did.

There have been times when I experienced His provision or protection, or healing and I was so sure that He is love and that He is good.

But then there were other times that I didn’t. And I felt alone and forgotten and forsaken. I’m not going to lie. Those times were very hard and very confusing. I wish I could say that I never lost my faith and hope but I very much did. Maybe not lost but it seemed very small and shriveled like it would never recover. I drew very far from Him because I was angry and hurt that my prayers weren’t answered the way I thought that they should be and the way that I thought that He would. It took me several years to recover from the time that I felt thrown away.

4 years ago, I was at a bible school that very much believed in healing and operating in the gifts of the Spirit. They frequently taught on and had guest speakers that operated in the gift of healing. I saw people healed.  I had previously been healed of cervical pre-cancer, so I fervently believed in Gods power to heal. I guess I forgot about His omniscience, immutability, and sovereignty.  I forgot that sometimes the answer to prayer is not now, or even no. God knows the end from the beginning. He knows the plans He has for me and how He needs to help me achieve the level of maturity to be able to consistently and unwaveringly walk in all that He has for me.

I can look back over the last 4 years and see His hand moving in many areas of my life. While during that time He and I didn’t have the same level of intimacy and communication that I previously had, I can now see that He was calling me into another level of trust in Him and a deeper level of intimacy. Offering me the opportunity to overcome my disappointment and use it as the floor to my next level with Him. To “level up” as it were.  

Isn’t that what a good Father does? He loves us into new levels of maturity. So that we can walk in the confident assurance that He is good and that His love never falters or fails.

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In a snit


snit noun\ˈsnit\: a state of agitation, in a snit (as defined by Mirriam Webster dictionary)

I woke up in a snit today. I woke up early and, rather than ponder life or look at Facebook, I decided to get straight up. I walked out to the back deck and sat down on the steps with a thud. Still snitting, if that’s even a word.
You see my life is, and has been, for the last 8 months, in a season of flux. No job, no place of my own to live, not many possessions, no plan…none of the things that society considers “stability” exist in my life. Some days I can put all this aside, fix my eyes on Jesus and carry on. Some days, not so much carrying on and very much questioning. This morning started out as one of those questioning days until, as I sat on the back deck, God reminded me that I am fine. Although things are not as I thought they would be, just after my 55th birthday, I am fine. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, I have a roof over my head, food for the day is provided, I am healthy, I have transportation, I am safe and all I have to do is live today. I don’t have to know what tomorrow will bring. I do have to be available to whatever He brings my way. To walk through the doors He opens and to not struggle against the doors He closes. I’m fine. My mood began to brighten and fill with hope and expectation of good.
I went in and got my coffee and bible and began asking what I should read. I hear Matthew 16. So I open up and begin to read. These verses are highlighted to me — Matthew 16:23-24 But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.” Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. I feel convicted that I have been more mindful of things of this world than things of God.
There are several unfulfilled promises or calls on my life and sometimes I wonder if I missed out on them. If I made a wrong turn, procrastinated, or fearfully decided my abilities don’t line up with His call on my life. Presuming to know myself and my abilities better than the One Who created me. I hear preachers say that if a person doesn’t fulfill the calling on their life, within a certain unnamed amount of time, that God will move on to the next person to get the job done. It worries me. But then I remember my ABBA is a good Daddy and that I am sure I would have to willfully disregard opportunities set before me more than once before He would move on to the next person. He puts this scripture on my mind — Romans 11:29 For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. So I wonder if there is any instance in which God will take away the call on my life? I say a resounding NO!! My God, my ABBA, my daddy will never give up on me. And I will continually be watching expectantly for the opportunities to partner with Him to prepare for the things He has planned for me.
While I am in this season of flux I will continue to increase in intimacy with Him so that I hear every time He speaks and every word He says.

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Fact vs. Truth


Matthew 7:24-27 “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.”

Three times in Matthew chapter 4 Jesus says to satan “it is written” proving that the bible is the key to all truth and is to be used, by us, to walk in the authority and dominion given back to us by Jesus through His death and resurrection. No matter what you are going through. No matter how hopeless, hurtful, or desperate it may seem we have everything we need to combat every situation. How do I know this, because Jesus said so in John 14:12 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father. There we have it…every power and ability Jesus had we have. You might say I don’t feel like I have power over anything. So now you are faced with a choice…Are you going to believe your feelings or the Truth of Gods Word?
I think the way that we appropriate the power is in what we believe and the words we speak as a result. Luke 6:45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
Do you believe the bible is true? The whole bible? Do you believe it is relevant for today? Do you believe Jesus would tell us one thing and do another?

To illustrate I will show you an example of fact vs. truth.

Fact: The doctor has spoken a negative diagnosis over you. He has tested you and proven that you have a disease.

Truth: Matthew 8:17 that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying:“He Himself took our infirmities and bore our sicknesses.” Psalm 107:20 He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.

So now you have a choice. You can believe and proclaim what the doctor has said or believe and proclaim Gods Word. The same applies to other situations in your life you just have to find the scripture that addresses your situation, read it, believe it is Truth, get it down into your heart and speak it. Speak it every time your situation comes to your mind. Every time you are tempted to worry and fret speak the scripture instead. It is also very important that you not waver and get into unbelief even for a second. Matthew 17:20 So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” In my opinion this is the hardest part because satan is going to combat your faith with doubt, worry, and unbelief. He will try to plant seeds like “this doesn’t work” or “Jesus has better things to worry about than your problems” or “you don’t deserve it” or “your doing it wrong”. But you will combat his efforts with IT IS WRITTEN!!! Just like Jesus did. Jesus loves you so much! John 10:10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. His will is for us to have a great life, not to just get by but to be blessed to the full, in every area of our lives. He has given us everything that we need for that to be a reality but we have to reach out and take it. He isn’t going to force it on us. Let’s do His sayings and be wise.

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Not about me…or you


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Mark 11:1-7 Now when they drew near Jerusalem, to Bethpage and Bethany, at the Mount of Olives, He sent two of His disciples; and He said to them, “Go into the village opposite you; and as soon as you have entered it you will find a colt tied, on which no one has sat. Loose it and bring it. And if anyone says to you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ Say, ‘The Lord has need of it,’ and immediately he will send it here.” So they went their way, and found the colt tied by the door outside on the street, and they loosed it. But some of those who stood there said to them, “What are you doing, loosing the colt?” And they spoke to them just as Jesus had commanded. So they let them go. Then they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their clothes on it, and He sat on it.

In the other gospels they identified this animal as a donkey but not in this one. I picked this one because it specified that this colt had never been ridden before. I looked online to see if donkeys were super easy to allow a rider for the first time. I found that they are not any easier to train or break than a horse. In fact, they say that you can’t break them by force but instead they must be coerced or bribed into submission. So, naturally, I’m curious about why Jesus picked a colt that had never been ridden before. I know that every prophecy about Him was fulfilled and it was prophesied in Zechariah 9:9 “Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your King is coming to you; He is just and having salvation, Lowly and riding on a donkey, a colt, the foal of a donkey.” And He did just that.

Several months ago, maybe last year, I was talking with my friend, Jana, about the women’s center I am helping her with. And while I was telling her how I am always thinking of how the people I come in contact with can help with the women’s center The Lord told me I was the donkey. I was like…really?! A donkey? Couldn’t I be something a little more glamorous…I don’t know like an eagle or something? But no, I am the donkey. So then I started praying about what that meant. The first thought was the donkey that Balaam rode in Number chapter 22 because it talked and that was what I was doing…talking to everyone I met about the women’s center. But I never got confirmation from The Lord.

Then I was listening to James McDonald one day that week and he was recounting something that happened to him. There was a lady that was upset with him and called him a donkey in a letter. He prayed about it for a week and never got clear understanding about how he was a donkey and what he should do about it. On Friday, of that week, he went to lunch with a pastor friend of his. James did not tell the pastor friend about the letter. As they were walking back to the car after lunch, the friend said The Lord is pleased with all the ways you are serving Him and helping people into the Kingdom. Then the man said, you know even the donkey knew it wasn’t about him. So there it was. That was my answer. It’s not about me. My job is to bring The Lord in…in whatever way I can. Through this blog, through the women’s center, when I begin to preach and teach, and through every ordinary, mundane, daily interaction with people. And it’s your job too. As christians we are the Lords emissary on earth. We are His designated agent. And Who better to represent?

Are you representing Him in the way He would have you?

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Draw near


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John 10:27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.

Jesus talks a lot about us being sheep and him being our shepherd. The beginning of this verse reminds me of when my children were little. We would be walking through the store. The grocery isles are not wide enough for me and 3 children and they always wanted to argue about who got to walk next to me. So I instituted a new rule. I would quack like a duck and they were to follow behind me in single file so we weren’t obstructing the grocery isle. It was great at getting their attention.

That reminds me of what it says in Isaiah 30:21 Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying,“This is the way, walk in it,” Whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left.” Sometimes it seems so hard to hear Him. Doesn’t it? I know that the bible is full of promises of Him being present, and active in my life but I don’t always feel or hear Him.

When you feel like He is far from you what do you do?

Do you rely on what you feel or what you know?

I wish I could say that when I feel farther away from God my first reaction is always to go to the bible and encourage myself with the Truth. That even though I don’t feel Him He is right beside me holding my right hand. (Isaiah 41:13) I am not as consistent as I want to be in this but I’m still breathing so there is time to change. I think it would be helpful to have some scriptures written down and easy to access so I’m going to list a few for me and you to refer to when we need encouragement.

Isaiah 41:10, 13 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you,Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’

Psalm 73:23-24, 28 Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with Your counsel, And afterward receive me to glory. But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, That I may declare all Your works.

Psalm 27:4-5 One thing I have desired of the Lord, That will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of The Lord all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the Lord, And to inquire in His temple. For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; In the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock.

Psalm 42:11 Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.

Psalm 27:14 Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!

 

 

 

 

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Slow Fade


Slow fade by Casting Crowns

Be careful little eyes what you see
It’s the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go for it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white turn to gray
And thoughts invade
Choices are made
A price will be paid when you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
it’s a slow fade
It’s a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear, when flattery leads to compromise the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say, for empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
The journey from your mind to your hand is shorter than your thinking
Be careful if you think you’d stand you just might be sinking
It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white turn to gray
And thoughts invade
Choices are made
A price will be paid when you give yourself away
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
it’s a slow fade
It’s a slow fade
Be careful little eyes what you see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love, oh be careful little eyes what you see

If you have been reading my blog you might have seen a pattern. It seems like I am a broken record talking about staying close to Jesus. That is because I have experienced the slow fade…away from Him and into a very bad place.
I was saved on Valentines day in 1999. I was on fire! I was in love with The Lord. I had quiet time each morning, listened to Christian radio, went to church every time the doors were open, and was evangelizing my workplace. During one of my morning times with The Lord, He showed me my calling by illuminating the scripture! It was most exciting!

Around 2002 personal events and a church split stopped me from going to church. I still kept in touch with my church friends, for a while. I kept my quiet time up for a while and then that went by the wayside. Since my mind was not focused on Jesus and His word, like it should have been, it began wandering to places it should not have gone. Thoughts gave way to conversations, which gave way to meals, which gave way to an affair. Culminating in me leaving my husband, of 28 years, and 2 teenage children in 2009.

I cannot stress this enough!
You must stay connected with The Lord!
It takes intentionality and it will be well worth all your efforts.

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Our unchanging God


Not only does He not change (Numbers 23:19) neither does His plan for our lives….

We can go back to Abraham to see that His plan to make Abraham a great nation never changed. Even after Abraham listened to Sarah and conceived a child with Hagar, Sarah’s servant. That was one of the biggest blunders made by mankind thinking they needed to help God. You can read all about it in Genesis. Don’t miss the part where they probably delayed the promise by thinking they needed to help God.

Then there was Moses, who definitely had a call on his life. Saved as an infant, when they were killing all the Hebrew boys of his age. Raised in the palace alongside the king he would later confront. After killing one of the Hebrews’ taskmasters he runs out into the desert, surviving against all odds. He carves out a life, marries a local girl, and while he is performing his job, one day, gets the “call” from God to go get His people, the Hebrews, out of bondage. He argues with God, explaining to Him that he didn’t speak well and wouldn’t God rather choose someone else. Can you just see it? The scene is set. The bush is burning. There is the booming voice from heaven saying, take off your shoes because you are on Holy ground. Then God tells him His plan. And Moses argues with God. All because he was insecure. I do feel like I should give Moses a little break here because he didn’t know much about God. He hadn’t been brought up being told the stories of the Hebrew heritage. He had been brought up in the palace being taught customs and heritage of the pharaohs. As far as how he was brought up goes, he was used to the Hebrews being around doing all the work and there were at least hundreds of thousands of them. He had to be thinking that pharaoh was NEVER GOING TO LET THEM GO! If he did, who would do all the work in Egypt? I think it was partly insecurity and partly knowing his adversary and what he was up against.

But I digress.

The point of today’s blog is…God and His plan NEVER changes.
The words He has spoken to us over the years NEVER change.
The visions He has given us are still in effect.
The plans He has for us haven’t changed.
The promises He has made to us haven’t changed.

So go back and remember the things He has told you and be reassured. He hasn’t forgotten you or His plans for you. Hold on to them with your whole heart and know that your God WILL bring them to pass. Don’t go out and try to make it happen on your own. You know you don’t want your own “Ishmael” situation.
Wait, wait, wait for The Lord! And while you wait praise Him for the plans He has for you and for what a good, loving, faithful Father He is to us! His timing is perfect! If you are still breathing you haven’t completed His plans for you!