God is love.

God is good.

Your experience might currently be contrary to these statements. I can’t know what is happening in your life, but I know that these two statements are true even when I don’t understand. They aren’t just true because they are in the bible. They aren’t just true because I, and perhaps you, have experienced the truth of them.

I have and yet I didn’t think I did.

There have been times when I experienced His provision or protection, or healing and I was so sure that He is love and that He is good.

But then there were other times that I didn’t. And I felt alone and forgotten and forsaken. I’m not going to lie. Those times were very hard and very confusing. I wish I could say that I never lost my faith and hope but I very much did. Maybe not lost but it seemed very small and shriveled like it would never recover. I drew very far from Him because I was angry and hurt that my prayers weren’t answered the way I thought that they should be and the way that I thought that He would. It took me several years to recover from the time that I felt thrown away.

4 years ago, I was at a bible school that very much believed in healing and operating in the gifts of the Spirit. They frequently taught on and had guest speakers that operated in the gift of healing. I saw people healed.  I had previously been healed of cervical pre-cancer, so I fervently believed in Gods power to heal. I guess I forgot about His omniscience, immutability, and sovereignty.  I forgot that sometimes the answer to prayer is not now, or even no. God knows the end from the beginning. He knows the plans He has for me and how He needs to help me achieve the level of maturity to be able to consistently and unwaveringly walk in all that He has for me.

I can look back over the last 4 years and see His hand moving in many areas of my life. While during that time He and I didn’t have the same level of intimacy and communication that I previously had, I can now see that He was calling me into another level of trust in Him and a deeper level of intimacy. Offering me the opportunity to overcome my disappointment and use it as the floor to my next level with Him. To “level up” as it were.  

Isn’t that what a good Father does? He loves us into new levels of maturity. So that we can walk in the confident assurance that He is good and that His love never falters or fails.